Now I Am Haunted
by InfinityxInfinity777
Summary: Set after ep 3x10 when Emily's shot by Daniel for the same reason that corresponds with the show. However, in this story the love they had was real since she's simply Emily Thorne with no motive of revenge. Angered and hurt by the pain he caused, she vows to hurt him with her manipulative ways; creating more pain, guilt, and retaliation, can their love survive conflicted feelings?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, Just Love It  
**

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**A/N**

**This story is set after episode 3x10 when Emily's hospitalized after being shot by Daniel. Basically, the way I wrote it is that, the Emily Thorne (protaganist) introduced to us in the show, is like the Emily Thorne in my story, minus all the Revenge motivation and plans. In my story there is no revenge against the Grayson's for framing David Clarke because she is not Amanda Clarke, she's Emily Thorne. You know how in the show Daniel is clueless about the Revenge thing and simply sees Emily ****Thorne as Emily Thorne, well that is how she is in my story .** . . It's confusing to explain but it's quite simple and i'm sure you'll understand when you read my story.  


**The relationship between Emily Thorne and Daniel Grayson corresponds for the most part with what happens in the show if you can imagine it without Emily's ulterior motive of revenge. So Emily Thorne came to the Hamptons, wholeheartedly fell in love with Daniel Grayson for pure reasons, they had their rough patch, worked through it, got engaged, broke it up, yearned for each other, finally got back together, planned to get married, had more problems in relationship (largely due to Sarah), got married (largely due to the fake pregnancy), then Daniel found out, shot her, in his drunken rage, and that's where my story starts.**

**Enjoy,**

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**Chapter 1:**** Now I Am Haunted  
**

"Wh-where, where am I?" Emily gasped as her eyes flew open and she looked around the white-paled room with startled brown eyes, her hand grasping onto the only other person in the room, a dark haired man, who would be quite handsome if it wasn't for the worn out, sullen look on his face.

Startled by her touch, he flinched slightly, before looking down at her, his brow furrowing in confusion at her disorientated state. "You're in the hospital" he responded slowly.

"Why?" she murmured confused and scared, finding the confinement of the hospital room and equipment suffocating. Trying to move around, she shifted uncomfortably on the bed to find that she had multiple tubes and equipment stuck to her and an intensifying pain from her stomach.

"What happened?" she asked, as a cold, silent tear slipped down helplessly from her eye.

"You don't know" he responded, his voice, slightly bitter and his face unreadable, "What do you remember?" he questioned tentatively immediately after.

She felt agitated and panic stricken, confused by the unknown; the blank space in her memory that she couldn't seem to fill and it scared her. Her breathing got heavy and she sounded like she was going to cry, "Nothing, I don't remember anything".

Looking up at the dark haired man urgently, she murmured, her voice filled with such agony, "Please tell me... who am I?"

He looked down at her confused and conflicted, not knowing what to say or do; let alone how he felt. He hated her, that moment when he had shot her, he had hated her so much and in his blinding white fury he had done something unforgiveable, he had shot her. Watching her fall of the yacht, he was horrified and instinctively he had reached out trying to grab onto her, to pull her back on. Though what sickened him was his reasoning for that was not purely to save her but to save himself or his peace of mind.

He had thought she was dead, that the great Emily Thorne had died, but when he had gotten word that by some miracle she had survived and that the fisherman out late on the sea had found her and got her to the hospital in time, he didn't know what he had felt. He had never wanted her dead, but the thought of facing her after knowing how much pain she'd caused him from all her lies seemed unbearable. He was angry so angry at her about the fake pregnancy but how could he show that after he'd shot her and nearly killed her? How could he be mad at her when what she did paled in comparison to what he did? How could he deal with the guilt of harming her? The women he had deeply loved and probably deep down still loved. How could he live with the anxiety of not knowing whether she was going to inform the police it was him or not? It was all too much, especially the suffocating guilt.

"I'm sorry I have to go" he said slowly, pulling his arm away from her weakened grip before hurriedly walking out the door, willing himself not to look back at the paled faced, teary-eyed, injured and scared young women, he had inflicted so much pain on. "I'll send for a nurse".

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"Is she awake" Victoria asked bitterly, looking towards Daniel as she sat on the uncomfortable waiting chair in her posh dress, feeling utterly annoyed at the circumstance Emily had put them in.

"She's breathing" he replied tiredly as he sat down next to his mother, "I think she may have some form of amnesia, she's seemed to have forgotten what happened and who she is".

Victoria laughed sharply, her laugh reflecting no happiness or warmth like an average person's would, "and you believe her?".

Daniel sighed, "I don't know" he mumbled, "She sounded believable".

"Oh Daniel, her whole relationship with you sounded and looked believable, even you were fooled for way too long by her innocent and loving appearance." Victoria said scornfully, "Emily Thorne is a manipulative and fake...woman, leeching off of you and our money, there's nothing genuine about that girl, she sickens me, and she has from the first day I laid eyes on her."

"And that's why people believe you shot her". Daniel said tiredly, before standing up and walking away from his mother, he didn't want to hear it. When Emily looked so helpless in that hospital room, when Emily was badly wounded because of what he did to her, he didn't want to hear his mother berate her, even if she was what his mother believed her to be, which he couldn't entirely agree with.

And despite it all he didn't want to believe that all they had, had been fake. He had loved Emily deeply before and they had shared good times, he didn't want to believe that she was faking it for status and money all that time, even if he had fallen out of love with her... which deep down he wasn't sure if he truly had.

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**1 Week Later**

Another unfamiliar ceiling, Emily thought as she stared up at the ceiling of the room she now occupied. Looking around she found nice, warm decor, and soft colours in the room design. Who knew the Grayson's had a soft side, Emily thought cynically, as she spotted a picture of the family, giving away the environment she was now in. Her memories had returned thanks to Nolan, who had managed to sneak into her hospital room and speak enough truth to trigger her memories to come back.

She was so thankful that it hadn't taken long to recover, however that first moment, when everything had rushed back to her, flashes of memories filling in the empty space, like stacks of books on a bookcase, that pain was intense it was like she had relived her whole life in a matter of seconds.

From her happy childhood with her mother and father in the Upper East Side, to the day she lost them, her everything, in the tragic car crash.

From the horrors she had in foster homes, to the injustice she felt when she was sent to juvenile detention for taking it upon herself to protect herself.

From the day she befriended Amanda Clarke there, to the day she was finally released and Nolan Ross found her and gave her her rightful shares to his company promising to look out for her as a way to give his thanks to her parents and the kindness he received from them.

From her party days of being young, stupid and emotionally troubled, to Nolan somehow managing to help her clean herself up and make something of herself.

From her involving herself in fancy university programs, to her beginning her philanthropic work

And most recently, from her moving to the Hamptons, to her falling in love with Daniel Grayson.

Her life was like a rollercoaster, she had started off high, with the love of her parents, but when they had died, that cart had dropped right from the peak to the bottom and it wouldn't go back up easily. Slowly, slowly with the help of Nolan Ross, it had managed to rise from the bottom and despite the irony of using the word, falling; it was when she fell in love with Daniel that she reached her new top. She had thought that cart was stable on the top, on its peak. It had its wobbles but that was every relationship, since none were perfect. She just would have never thought that the cart on its peak could plunge right to the bottom so quickly and as harshly as it did.

She never would have thought that the person, who got her to the peak, the person she loved, the person she trusted, could aim a gun at her chest and shoot twice, on their wedding day no less, watching as she plunged into the deep cold ocean. Metaphorically Daniel had cut off whatever it was that was holding her cart on it's peak, and then let it fall from near the top, all the way to the bottom in a heart wrenching one-eighty drop, where the hard, cold ground awaited, with no safety net to catch her.

And it killed.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek and she cursed herself for being weak, for sparing a single tear on him and the pain he had caused her, she hated him, she hated him, she hated him. If she said it enough, would it make it fully true?... Because deep down, she wasn't fully confident that every trace of love she had ever held for him had completely disappeared from her crumbling heart, though she wished it had, then it would hurt less.

Lifting her hand up to wipe the tear from her face, she let out a sharp breath as she felt a stinging pain from her gunshot wound and she cursed not only due to the pain but because every time she felt such pain, she thought of Daniel Grayson, her twisted lover, her shooter and the one who not only caused her physical pain, but pain in her heart and her mind too.

She wanted him to pay, she needed him to hurt, like she had!

Placing her hand over her bandaged wound as proof of what he had done, she made a vow to herself that he would pay; not by prison, not by violence but through her own manipulative ways, she was going to haunt him figuratively and quite literally and she was going to drag him to the bottom where she was...if he wasn't there already.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, please comment/review, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping to write more chapters if the feedback I get is encouraging :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 2: Can't Kill Me With Kisses**

"You're awake" Victoria said in fake sincerity, as she breezed into the room, standing at the edge of Emily's bed.

"I don't understand, the doctor's discharged me?" Emily said slowly, narrowing her eyes at the women she hated, the one who had tried and succeeded in creating such chaos in her and Daniels relationship.

"Yes right into my care and your nurses, we thought you'd be more comfortable at home" Victoria said, faking a smile at Emily. "You're a Grayson now, and we circle the wagons when tragedy strikes."

It was like she was mocking her, she hated it, she absolutely abhorred that women but she did what she did since day one, played her at her own game. So instead of demanding to be let out, she simply produced a small smile directed, Victoria's way.

"Doctor Sternan told me your memories are recovering" Victoria continued, no doubt saying the only thing she cared to know about from Emily.

"Yes," Emily replied softly, "Thanks to Charlotte, she visited me a lot in the hospital trying to help me recover memories". Pausing, she stared right into Victoria's watchful eyes before slowly saying, "and promising me that the only reason my husband wouldn't come in and comfort me was because he felt guilty and upset that he wasn't able to save me."

Victoria squirmed and Emily wanted to secretly smile, she'd only said that to see that quick look of panic on Victoria's face, and oh was it satisfying.

"Charlotte was right, Daniel loved you and he's not taking it well." Victoria responded.

"Loved?" Emily murmured faintly, "I'm not dead yet."

"No of course not, Darling" Victoria quickly responded, irritated at herself for her slip up. Gingerly placing her hand on Emily's arm, she murmured, "You know what I meant".

Emily smiled gently, it was going to be amusing seeing Victoria fake such sincerity towards her, she could only imagine how maddening it must feel for her.

"The last thing I remember was the church, the wedding vows, at least I have that happy moment." She said softly, the tiniest smile spreading across her chapped lips as if to fool Victoria in her affection for Daniel when in reality all she felt like doing was screaming.

On a day that was meant to be her dream come true, on a day that represented their undying love, their bond, he had tainted everything, ripped her everything away from her.

Biting her lip, she tried to withhold the flash of remembrance infecting her mind but it was too late, she remembered it all and her mind wouldn't simply let it go.

She remembered as she had stood there alone in the dressing room, her beautiful white wedding gown, draped across her slim body. She had stared at herself in the mirror for ages, preparing herself, trying to calm her nerves, imagining what life as his wife would be. Truthfully things hadn't been easy that past month, they had argued and fought, slept alone some nights, but they had tried to work through it or at least that's what she had thought, until she discovered Sarah. She hadn't confronted him about her though, maybe she should have but she had been scared, so scared that if she did, then ultimately more fighting would push him right into Sarah's arms.

So she had held it in but holding something like that in, ignoring her hurt, angry feelings, feeling such anxiety every time he came home late, led to panic. And in her panic she had done something terrible, she had faked her pregnancy as a way to reel him in. She had been desperate and convinced herself that it was the only way for Daniel to wake up and realize, she was the love of her life, she was his future, not Sarah.

On her wedding day as she had looked into that mirror, she had felt so guilty, that she had lied to him about something so important as a newborn life. She had vowed that after their honeymoon, she would tell him the truth and plead her case. Explain how his affair with Sarah had really hurt her, how she felt like she was losing him and how she just wanted her fair chance of a happy life with him.

Would he have shot her then too? she thought resentingly, maybe only once, she jeered with satire humour.

She could joke all she wanted but that day when she had seen him standing at the altar, looking as handsome as ever in his wedding suit and gazing at her tenderly as she walked down the aisle, such hope had filled her heart, they had a bond, they shared a love, and yes they had fought, yes he had strayed but he was her home and she was his or that's what she had naively thought at the time.

"_Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts._" That was one of Daniel's favourite poems by Oliver Wendell Holmes, he had read it to her when they had first fell in love and ever since, it had been such an endearing poem to the both of them. Now it just brought up pain.

Shaking her head slightly as if that would clear her pained mind, she bitterly thought, so much for what Daniel had vowed to her on the altar, _I love you Emily, for now and always._

"And as for the traumatic details of your shooting?" Victoria asked, interrupting Emily from her thoughts of the wedding to a vastly more painful memory.

I remember everything Emily wanted to tell her bitingly; from the rising fear and shock I felt as your son pointed a gun at my chest, to the pain and betrayal I felt as the bullets tore through my flesh, soaking my dress with blood, draining my cheeks of colour, and propelling my body over the railing, so I fell, how many feet from the yacht, falling and falling, my body cold and numb, my mind diseased, my heart torn out as the cold strong waves, refused to put me out of my misery but instead drifted me to help, help that I didn't want.

I remember, she wanted to scream, to threaten relentlessly but she swallowed all that down, suppressing her screams. It wouldn't do, she had vowed to ruin him, to destroy him and screaming at his cruel mother though probably immensely satisfying wouldn't help her.

However, sweet revenge just might and for that, she'd have to be calculatingly, sneaky and most importantly mentally strong.

Anyway right now she was a prisoner in the Grayson's house, alone and injured so she'd have to tread carefully until Nolan could contact her, Nolan, Amanda and Jack, the only real friends she had. After all, she knew a lot about the Grayson's and how they resorted to terrible things to protect those they loved and she definitely could not trust them to uphold the universal morals of the world, especially being that one of them already broke one of them when he nearly killed her.

Breaking her gaze from Victoria, she looked around the room abstractly and tiredly said, "I'm trying to remember but..." she paused, her eyes focusing on the figure who'd just come through the door, "Daniel", she murmured her heart stopping for a second as she looked towards the man she'd fallen for, the man who'd shot her, the man who she now held an infinite amount of conflicted feelings for.

Victoria's eyes widened in horror thinking that Emily had remembered but then she let out a relieved breath as she turned her head to see her son in the doorway.

"Daniel what happened to your eye" Emily asked upon seeing a purplish, blackish bruise around his left eye, that seemed to mildly satisfy her upon first glance.

"Nothing worth mentioning, not compared to your injuries" Daniel said as he walked towards her, a mixture of guilt, nervousness, anger and tiredness in his expression.

He had been to see Sarah at the Stowaway, his not so secret lover. There Emily's friend Jack had lashed out at him, rightfully so after what he'd done to Emily, not that he knew. Either way Daniel was a bastard in Jacks eyes, while his newlywed wife was recuperating in bed after nearly losing her life, he was trying to get back in with his mistress. God he was disgusting, that enough was disgusting but factor in the part where he was the one who shot her, it just mad him damn right vile.

He really had deserved that punch, a thousand times over too. He had even liked it and wished he'd been pummeled relentlessly, he wanted to feel something other than the guilt taking the characteristic of a parasite and eating away at him.

"I'll leave you two alone" Victoria said standing up and walking away, with a walk only the wealthy could perfect.

Emily looked towards Daniel, a small smile on her face, "It's nice to see you" she said softly, looking at your guilty face makes me feel excited to hurt you more, she thought cruelly.

Daniel smiled back painfully, "You should probably get some rest" he said as he walked up to her bed and reluctantly bent down kissing her on her forehead with impassionate lips, no doubt trying to fake affection and innocence. But he wasn't like his mother or her in that respect and he failed at faking it, she could read right through him, she always had.

She reached out for his arm, as he began to walk away, "Stay" she murmured, if it pained him to be near her, she wanted him to be with her for a lifetime, he deserved that pain and so much more for what he had done to her.

He stopped and looked at her but showed no signs of moving closer to her so she continued, her voice sounding quiet and sad, "I've just felt so lonely these past few days, hoping that the next time I woke up from my sleep you would be by my bedside, if only for a little while at least."

"I'm so sorry" he uttered guiltily, feeling that parasite eat away at him even more. This was the first time he had really looked at her; seen the pain in her big brown eyes, and the hurt in her voice... seen her stare at him as if he didn't nearly kill her. "It's just been so hard to see you hurt", what a shitty excuse he thought to himself with disdain, "But Charlotte's been with you."

Emily nodded her head as if understandingly. Daniel was always such a coward, he could never face what he'd done or what consequences he had to bear. At least he was hurting too, she hoped that guilt engulfed his mind. "More than you" she whispered her eyes beginning to water for effect. She had mastered fake tears by the age of ten after realizing how it came in handy at the orphanage.

"I know we've been through a lot Daniel, I remember how it wasn't all easy before the wedding but ...you're my husband Daniel and I- I need you, now more than ever."

He moved closer to her, her heartfelt sentence working like a charm as he grabbed onto her cold hand as a supportive gesture. Not that his hands were much warmer, he had turned cold blooded in more ways than one after everything that had happened.

"I'm right here" he said trying to sound comforting as he sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. It's what he had to do he tried convincing himself, to fool her, it's what his mother would want. But deep down he knew it's what he wanted, he didn't want to see her like this; crying, injured, alone, especially when he caused this.

Despite all her past transgressions the fake pregnancy being the most significant and worst of all, it in no way justified him shooting her. He had loved her, really loved her and when she looked so innocent, so helpless in that hospital gown, in bed, with a machine hooked up to her, how could he hate her? How could he be so cold? So even if the guilt killed him, he would try and comfort her...he owed it to her to at least try and be the husband she thought he was, instead of the real one who shot her... not once... but twice.

"I'm yours for the afternoon" he murmured as he gently, brushed her hair out of her eyes and wiped away her tears, "Tell me what you want Emily"

Emily squeezed his hand and smiled tenderly, this was the Daniel, she thought she was marrying, the caring one... but she was so wrong about that, so now instead of enjoying this side of him, she would exploit it.

Looking into his conflicted brown eyes, she softly uttered two small words, "Kiss me".

Daniel looked back at her nervously, his eyes widening in surprise as he tried to conceal the guilt on his face. If only he hated her, he thought he hated her, he wanted to hate her so that he would no longer have to feel such guilt, but the truth was that he didn't and seeing her like this, seemingly so genuine and so gentle he fell into her trap, only intensifying his shame .

He didn't want to kiss her, it would be too painful, upon touch, he'd remember the tenderness and warmth of her lips, the sweetness of her tongue, the eagerness of her mouth. He cursed himself, how could he have strayed from that? From her? She had faked her pregnancy and that was wrong...so wrong but she had just wanted to hold onto him, when he was straying farther and farther away to Sarah. How could he have been unfaithful to her? How could he still desire the taste of her lips and equally desire Sarah's? He disgusted himself.

Shut up he wanted to yell at that bitter cruel parasite in his head, the one calling him disgusting the one whispering, _this is on you, this is all on you_!

"Daniel" she murmured, subtly prompting him.

Looking down at her agonizingly, he cradled her face gently; subconsciously taking in the natural beauty of the women he had fallen for before lowering his troubled lips down to her own and kissing her softly on the mouth, whilst desperately trying to block the sweet memories that floated aimlessly through his head of a much better time than this.

Emily kissed him back slowly, willing herself not to remember how she liked these kisses, how she loved them. She was a ghost now and her job was to haunt not to feel, that's what she had to remind herself, to remember.

Pulling away her lips tugged up in a small, shy smile and she looked at him with her chocolaty brown eyes and murmured, "How did my lips taste?"

"Sweet..." he whispered, not able to look her directly in her eyes, "sweet and innocent"

Hiding her smirk from his satisfying answer she gazed at him intently, looking to have thoughtfully replied, "Yours tasted gentle, gentle and reserved...".

Daniel looked back at her tenderly and gently squeezed her hand.

"And almost a little sad... guilty" she added her voice lingering ever so slightly as she said the last word, her gaze on Daniel who had not so subtly shifted his eyes to anywhere but her face and let go of her hand, not feeling able to keep holding on now that a stronger wave of distaste had washed over himself.

He looked terrible, remorse was written all over his face, like it rightfully should, she thought fittingly.

Clearing his throat he slowly said, his voice quiet, making it almost easier to tell such shameful lies than if he sounded loud and confident, "Not guilt, not sadness...just reserved. I didn't want to kiss you so passionately, when you're so... hurt". Hurt because of me, he couldn't help reminding himself.

"Oh Daniel" she hummed, "You can't kill me with kisses"

His eyes twitched at the word kill and she continued, articulating each word slowly and smoothly, for dramatic effect and that extra punch she knew he'd feel, "You can kill me with a knife, a poison" she paused for a second and gestured to her wound, "...a gunshot" letting that sink in for a second longer as that was her main point, she finished by lightly saying, "But Daniel you couldn't kill me with kisses."

There was a long moment of silence before Daniel filled it by faintly uttering, "You're right", finding that was the only thing he could get out before it felt like his throat had constricted inside of him, immobilizing what he really wanted to say. That he could never kill her, be it by knife, poison, gun or kisses, that he would never try. That she shouldn't talk about such horrible things, that if anyone was going to kill somebody, then it would be his guilt, slowly and agonizingly killing him. It felt like it had already started to anyway.

_Because you deserve it, _that voice in his head uttered_, because you did nearly kill her, because you proved that you could kill her._

"Are you alright Daniel? You look rather pale" Emily said faking concern as she grabbed for his hand.

Pulling away from her touch, he stood up and quietly said, "I haven't been eating well that's all, don't worry about me, just get better and rest" maybe then you'll remember and hate me, punish me and anger me, maybe then the guilt won't be as bad, he thought as he quickly walked out of the room before it could suffocate him further.

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**Thanks to all those who gave my story a chance, I hope the second chapter didn't disappoint and a special thanks to Only Hope-7, Forevermissingclaudiaz and guest who left a comment, it made me very happy and motivated me to get this one out quicker :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

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**Chapter 3: Door Marked Exit  
**

"Seems like you had a nice chat with Emily" Victoria said callously as she looked towards her son from her prized chair in the living room.

"Isn't that what you want?" Daniel replied irritably.

"What I want" she said looking at him with narrowed eyes, and using that overbearing yet somehow ridiculously elegant voice of hers, "is for you not to forget what she did to you."

"What she did to me, what about what I did to her?" he said tensely, shaking his head in anger.

"You've fallen for it already, haven't you?" she said disdainfully.

"Fallen for what?" he asked tiredly, as he walked over to the liquor table.

"Her innocent act" she uttered,

Daniel didn't reply, he ignored his mother and poured himself, a generous amount of liquor, taking a long sip and wincing as the sharp, strong liquid, slid down his throat.

Is this what it came to now, alcohol in the morning? God, how did he get so low, what had Emily done to him, so that he had to jeopardize his liver and his mind, to stumble through the day?

"Daniel for goodness sake, how many times are you going to let that girl manipulate you?" she further pursued, "Emily's recovering not dying, and as far as I'm concerned she's a nuisance in our life, not something for you to pity out of guilt."

"You're telling me I shouldn't feel guilty for shooting my wife" he hissed, his voice low and sharp.

Victoria laughed bitterly, "Wife, god knows that women upstairs is not your wife, that marriage was not genuine, she trapped you into it, forced you by her lies by preying on your integrity, isn't that why you shot her?"

Why you shot her? Why you shot her? That kept repeating in his head, why had he shot her that night? He had been terribly drunk, he had been angry that she lied, he had been scared that he'd nearly lost Sarah which he wrongly blamed on her, he had been hurt that she'd betrayed him and he had been maddened that she had fooled him so easily. He had been a lot of things that night, especially...

Shaking his head he avoided his mother's question which was no doubt rhetorical anyway, and sharply said, "What integrity? I was sleeping around with another woman behind her back, while she was planning our wedding."

"So now, Sarah's just another woman, God you're hearts just as fickle as your father's and easily swayed." Victoria replied bitingly, knowing that he'd hate that analogy, since he was currently in a feud with his father.

Daniel shook his head fiercely, "I Love Her" he shouted furiously, his voice shaking with the whirlwind of emotions he felt.

"Which one, Emily, Sarah... Oh don't tell me it's Ashley now" she said sneeringly, her lips curling up into a malicious little smirk.

Daniel glared at her and began to walk out the room clearly infuriated. Truth be told he didn't know, who that was intended for, it had just instinctively leaked out of him.

"Just remember Daniel, for all the things Emily's not, one thing she is is clever and she'll play you till your eating putty out of her hands, if you fall for her act. Her injury is not an excuse for what she did to you. She remembers everything except the shooting, which means she remembers what she did to you, has she showed you any remorse? Has she admitted to it or apologized? No! Yet she's asking for your affection... Just like she did with her fake pregnancy, this time she's using her injury to reel you into her, and God, dear son are you making it easy."

Whipping his head around, Daniel looked at his mother with dark angry eyes, and sharply said, "I know you have a heart of stone mother but don't sit there and assume she's the same type of person as you. I'm confused and I'm torn and...all I know is that I loved her and yet I hurt her more than she ever hurt me. So don't tell me what to think or don't tell me what to feel, because you simply do not have the capacity or the compassion to understand."

With that Daniel Grayson stormed out of the room, gulping down the rest of the liquor in his hand. Leaving the empty glass precariously on the edge of the cabinet, he cursed himself for not taking the whole bottle. Oh well he thought aloofly, he'd just buy a new bottle.

Climbing up the winding staircase, Daniel grabbed his jacket and wallet from his bedroom, then proceeded to go back downstairs when he felt the urge to peep in and check on Emily.

Slowly opening the door, he saw her fast asleep on the bed, she looked so peaceful, so innocent, like the princess Sleeping Beauty. If he kissed her would she wake up, or was he no longer her one true love, her Prince Charming?

Slowly moving closer to her, reluctance and reservation in his gestures, once he got to her bed, he bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her soft rosy coloured lips.

He knew it was only a fairy tale but he couldn't help feeling downhearted, when he didn't see her eyelids flutter open, revealing her deep brown, chestnut colored eyes that use to hold so much love for him.

Drawing up a chair towards her bed, he sat down in it, and reached out for her hand, holding onto it as he began to quietly murmur, "I'm so sorry Emily, that I hurt you like this and caused you so much pain. I never would have thought in a million years that we would end up like this. I still remember the first time that we met; you spilled your drink on me at the Memorial Day party. I remember turning around and seeing you this beautiful girl in front of me, and I had felt incredibly lucky that my $1500 suit had been sullied with alcohol. You had seemed so embarrassed though, and honestly I found it really endearing. I offered you a drink next, and you accepted, and we sat down in one of those chairs, just you and me and held a light conversation for quite a long while. You were enchanting, your smile, your laugh, your personality, your composure. Just everything about you I found refreshing and captivating."

"I'm not sure if you would remember but I vividly remember saying to you that day, _I've got to admit, it's nice meeting someone who didn't know the old me, _You had smiled understandingly and softly agreed. I had meant that at the time, but now I can't help feeling that the old me was a saint compared to who I am right now. Back then, before you, I had been stupid and reckless but at least I had a good heart, not anymore, now I've been infected with cruelness and the cold, now I'm hardly better than my parents. I'm so sorry Emily, when you remember it was me, you're going to be heartbroken and in even more pain then you are now. I wish I could take it all back, or transfer all your pain to me but I can't, I don't even believe I can ever make this up to you so... I hope you hate me Emily ".

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze before he let go and stood up, he quickly walked out of the room, not looking back as he shut the door softly behind him.

As the door closed shut, Emily's eyes flew open brimming with tears, and as the first one dropped silently down her cheeks, the rest followed suit till she was no longer quiet but sobbing softly on her pillow.

She had heard it all, she had woken up, after feeling his lips on hers, and she had waited, pretending to be a sleep to see what he would do next or whether he would say anything which he had.

She had heard every word, but it neither helped comfort her, nor strengthened her resolve, all those words did were inflict such torment in her heart and mind.

* * *

Daniel knew running away was cowardly and wrong, he knew that the least he could do for Emily was stay by her side until she remembered. But he just couldn't face her anymore, maybe his guilt should have strengthened his resolve to be the best man he could be for her but all it did was weaken him and he didn't want to cope. What was the point anyway; in the end she'd just hate him, no matter how regretful he felt, she would hate him like she should.

And if Emily would never forgive him, he didn't see the point in trying to sort things out, it seemed hopeless and painfully exhausting. He should let go of the hope that somehow they could go back to how they were the summer they met, or last summer. Their love was gone, tainted so wasn't it just best to move on? Wasn't it?...because he desperately needed something to feel the void.

"Danny" Sarah said looking at him with earnest brown eyes as she walked into his arms "I am so sorry" .

This is what he wanted now, Sarah, she was his door marked exit, his escape and so he would take it, even if it meant sacrificing what little virtue he had left.

Yes it was wrong, but he loved Sarah, only weeks ago he was willing to break off his engagement to Emily to be with her, so surely he loved her didn't he?

_Daniel wanted to move on and forget Emily so that all the guilt and pain that came with it would subside, so he hoped that if he could whole heartedly devote his heart to Sarah that she could make him forget how he had loved Emily. And if not at the very least, he needed Sarah as a distraction._

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, please comment/review, it would really make my day =D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 4: That He...  
**

"Emily" Charlotte said in her sing-songy voice as she waltzed into the room, her brown hair bouncing in soft waves against her back, "You're looking really well".

Emily smiled softly, she was fond of Charlotte, she was innocent and happy and kind, she was the good seed out of the many bad; and somehow she had managed to defy all the cruelness that infected the Grayson's.

Emily liked to think it was because she had some David Clarke in her, Amanda had told her all about the real David Clarke, not the one society was made to believe, the one who had been tragically tarnished with terrifying lies and blame.

"She smiles" Charlotte said happily, as she plopped down on the chair beside her, "I've missed that".

"I know" Emily murmured quietly, not really knowing what else to say.

"I see they've finally gotten you out of that hospital gown" she commented, "The sea blue looks nice on you, it brings out the chocolaty brown in your eyes."

"Thanks, I'm still wearing gowns of sorts because it's a lot easier for me to slip on by myself but at least it's a lot nicer."

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement and Emily began to slowly say, "Everything's going to take a bit of time, but I am feeling a lot better, I can move around now, without feeling such intense pain and I don't seem to feel so tired anymore."

"You're healing" she replied smiling.

"Physically, yes" Emily replied honestly.

"What about your memories are you beginning to remember the attacker?"

Emily looked away from Charlotte's concerned face and shook her head slowly, "I..."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked, I'm sure if you knew, the culprit would be behind bars by now." Charlotte said quickly, grabbing onto Emily's hand as a comforting gesture, "It's so frustrating though, I feel such uneasiness every time I'm reminded of what happened to you. The police keep saying, it was somebody on the yacht but I can't wrap my head around someone there being so cruel... so twisted, as to raise a gun to your chest and shoot... it sickens me and I'm so sorry that had to happen to you."

Emily felt a lump begin to form in her throat and she squeezed Charlotte's hand, grateful for her kindness, "You're not the one who has to be apologizing Charlotte" Emily said slowly, "I just want to thank you, you've shown so much support, and it means a lot to me."

Charlotte smiled, "Well we're sisters now" she replied sweetly.

Sisters, Emily forced herself to smile though it was such a weak one, she would have loved that, but she wasn't naive enough to think that Charlotte and her could be 'sisters' now, he'd taken that away from her too.

"Has Daniel, been looking after?" she asked almost tentatively as if she was afraid of the answer, her eyes already portraying sadness as if she knew the answer... which she probably did.

Emily bit her bottom lip, what to say, what could she say? Charlotte wasn't stupid, she saw things and knew enough to know that something was wrong, "You know it wasn't all easy before the wedding, I made mistakes, he made mistakes and those things just don't go away, even with this injury."

"But you two were happy at the wedding right" she pursued a hopeful tone to her voice, "You had to be, or why else would you get married, right"

"Right" Emily answered to hull the desperation that was beginning to rise in Charlotte's voice, "Of course we were". But was that really true she had to ask herself?

The day of the wedding she had felt a range of emotions all in one; happiness, nervousness, excitement, guilt being only a few of them.

But what had Daniel been feeling...trapped? She didn't want to think that but was that the reality? When she had lied to him about her pregnancy it wasn't so much to trap him into marriage with her but to prompt him into believing, into remembering that they belonged together. If she didn't think he held love in his heart for her anymore than she wouldn't have lied, she would have just left him.

Had Daniel just been faking the smiles, the passion, the warmth and the love she had felt when he had kissed her on the altar? When he said his vows, slipped on her ring, or when they had their first dance, what did he feel for her, love or resentment or was it something muddled in the middle? Is that why he shot her because he was confused with how he felt?

She didn't know

_**Flashback**_

_It was beautiful but all she felt was a wave of disgust and a wave of guilt as she looked up at the wedding cake, it was her fault, all hers, she thought bitterly, silently cursing Sarah Munello in her head. But that was over now, she was the one marrying Daniel not her. She didn't expect things to be easy, not straight away but she hoped with that distraction gone, she and Daniel could work through everything that pulled them apart; they did love each other after all._

_Feeling his arm wrap around her waist, she smiled at his touch, "Are you ready", he whispered into her ear. She nodded her head, and they both turned their attention to the intricately made, five layered wedding cake._

_"It's a beautiful cake" Emily forced herself to say, despite the vileness she felt in her throat from complimenting the hypocritical 'home wrecker'._

_"You don't have to say that" Daniel uttered softly, his voice apologetic, as he turned to look at her._

_Emily paused, trying to gather the words she wanted to say to him, before tentatively saying, "I understand what it is to want closure" she looked away from him before forcing her eyes to look back up into his, "I know you do things, you never thought you would do..."_

_Placing his hands on either side of her face, he looked into her honest brown eyes, with his shamefully guilty ones, he knew he had hurt her and he knew it probably hurt her a lot more than she let on. "I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you, and an even better dad to our baby." He said resolutely, wanting to convince her, wanting to promise her what she deserved._

_She smiled softly, wholeheartedly wanting to believe his words as he drew his soft lips against her own, the warmth of them brushing against her lower lip. Seeking entry, she obliged and he slipped his eager tongue inside her mouth, kissing her softly and passionately as he cradled her face in his hands._

_Pulling away he kissed her on the cheek and she smiled beautifully, he'd always loved her smiles and so not being able to help himself, he smiled widely too._

**_Flashback End_**

"I don't understand" Charlotte said tentatively, "Why hasn't he been by your side? Why hasn't he given you support?" she paused and then continued anger in her voice "I don't know what you guys went through but you nearly died, he nearly lost you forever and... your baby died, surely whatever happened can't be so unforgiving that he won't comfort you and help you through this, its..."

Not knowing how to finish her thought she moved to her next one, "You told me once that, tragedy has a way of bringing people together, but it doesn't seem to be working this time."

"I don't know what to say" Emily murmured a dreary honesty to her reply.

"Tell me that you two will get through it?"

Emily shook her head slowly, "I don't know if we will", she replied. She knew it wasn't what Charlotte wanted to hear but she also knew it was better than the truth she was thinking.

"I am going to talk to Daniel, and quite literally I am going to knock some sense into him if I have too, but Emily don't give up, my brother loves you more than anything in the world so if you fight for him, if you let him know you love him, I'm sure you two can work it out!"

Emily forced a weak smile to protrude from her lips, why was Charlotte making this so hard? She didn't know anything; she didn't know that Daniel had cheated on her, she didn't know that she had faked her own pregnancy, she didn't know that Daniel had shot her and she sure as hell didn't know that ultimately they could never go back to how they once were.

Looking towards Emily clearly distraught, she stood up wrapping her arms around her, "I'm sorry Emily, I came in here wanting to cheer you up but I think all I've achieved is the opposite of that. I'll make it up to you, I promise"

Giving Charlotte a squeeze back, Emily quietly murmured, "You're too sweet".

* * *

***Knock knock**

Looking toward the bedroom door aloofly, Emily returned her focus to the book in her hands. It didn't matter who it was, Charlotte was the only person in the house she cared about and at the moment, she was out shopping with her callously cruel mother, anyway if it was her, she'd just waltz in. As for Daniel, she literally hadn't laid eyes on him for days, so she doubted it was him.

Hearing the door handle twist opon, she narrowed her eyes angrily, so much for privacy.

"Em's it's me" she heard a familiar voice say as a head full of blond hair, popped itself out from behind the door.

"Nolan" she uttered surprised as she ushered his lanky figure in, "How did you get in here?"

Nolan smiled lopsidedly, and he moved towards her, engulfing her in a long comforting hug, "I've missed you" he whispered.

Feeling herself relax in his arms, she squeezed onto him tightly, trying to push back that huge lump in her throat she felt beginning to form. Nolan was her rock, her anchor... her family, but it was so hard seeing him, that sense of relief and familiarity, and comfort in his arms made it so hard to hold on to all her emotions without breaking down.

"Nolan" she uttered weakly, "I'm really glad you're here".

Pulling away from her so that he could talk to her, he smiled and softly said, "Me too, it's all thanks to Charlotte, what would we do without our one good Grayson?" he murmured.

"She snuck me in" he explained, "Victoria pretty much has you on lock down, she has guards outside the house and even her security cams and alarms have been upgraded, so it wouldn't have been as quick as I wanted to mess around with them. Charlotte's been trying to get us in here with you since the time they first brought you here though. Amanda's been pestering her every day, we all have, we've been really worried, the only thing that kept us sane was Charlotte's reassurance that you were healing."

"She's been talking to the guards, trying to form their trust, their help, and so after getting on pretty good terms with the guards, as well as by using a popular technique named bribery, she managed to convince them into letting one guest in to the manor to see you. Amanda wasn't happy about it, but it was decided democratically of course, that I should be the one to see you. So all that was left for Charlotte was to lure the witch away from her nest, which she did in the most practical way possible, shopping, and 'voila' here I am." Pausing to look at her reaction, he added "Amanda and jack send their love and little Carl of course."

"Thank you" Emily murmured her voice beginning to wobble, she'd been feeling so alone the past few days and it's not that she doubted her friends but it was nice to hear that they'd been pulling for her.

Nolan grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, "Of course, you don't think we'd leave you up here by yourself?"

Emily shook her head,

"I'm just thankful Charlotte could pull though?" Nolan murmured.

Emily looked away from Nolan, feeling guilt begin to form in her stomach as she quietly murmured, "She's a saint, she doesn't deserve what she'll be put through."

Nolan looked at her questionably and opened his mouth ready to ask what she meant by that before closing it back again, she'd tell him when she was ready.

Touching her tentatively on the arm, he looked into her eyes and earnestly said, "I'm going to get you out of here Em's, you can recuperate at my house, I'll get you an even better nurse, I'll take care of you."

Emily cast her eyes downward, not feeling able to look into his honest, caring, blue eyes without crying.

"Em's, remember when I first saw you in the hospital after you'd gotten shot , and I managed to sneak into the room in my red and white hospital suit, you had looked so pale it really scared me and with those tubes and equipment stuck to you, it had only heightened my fear. I can see that physically you're better now, you look much healthier than when I last saw you, but in a way you also look much more wounded, more exhausted, emotionally that is. I saw it as soon as I stepped in the room and I'm worried...your memory returning brought up something painful didn't it?

He looked into her eyes, urging her to tell him what was wrong, wishing for her to unload her pain onto him.

"I..." she started off but then she bit her lip and shook her head slowly, murmuring, "It's been really hard" the only thing she could admit to.

Nolan looked at her distressed, was that all she could admit to? Emily was a pretty closed off person but he had broken through her walls, years ago. She had let him in and in turn for not hurting her she'd formed complete trust in him, so what was so hard that she couldn't tell him?

"Living here's doing nothing good for you, Victoria's a witch, Conrad's MIA with his new mistress not that he's a particularly good guy anyway and Daniel, well Daniel's proved that he's nothing more than a rich bastard, he hasn't been by your side, has he? I never should have let you marry him after he cheated, god he's disgusting" Nolan said with disdain, his face crumpling in anger as he looked towards her for her reaction. "You deserve so much better, Emily. There was a time when I saw you with him and believed that he just might be your future. Even at the wedding, I felt a spark of hope that he could make amends to you and be a good husband, but I...all hope is gone, that man is a Grayson through and through, his actions clearly show that. Now I can assume that he found out about the fake pregnancy through the doctors at the hospital and even he has a right to be upset but you're his wife, who got shot and while you're trapped here recuperating, he should be by your side, not off trying to get back into bed with Sarah."

Emily's pain filled eyes, widened in surprise, "Sarah?" she whispered. She had figured he'd been off drinking, getting wasted, maybe sleeping around with girls he cared nothing for, all the while trying to qualm the guilt inside of him, but Sarah, he was off reforming his relationship with her? While she was isolated in his house and wounded both physically and emotionally.

Emily closed her eyes wincing at the sharp pain she felt in her heart, as she blocked out Nolan's words,

_What was she in comparison to Sarah? Would she never have been enough? Did he just not love her as much as he thought he did... she thought he did?_

_No matter what happens between us, I'll always be honest with you. If you let me I'd love to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you made me .__I love you Emily, for now and always. I ended it with her because you're the only one I want. __I swear, I'm going to be a better man to you. I LOVE YOU_

Did it mean nothing? Did any of those words mean anything? Do they still?

When she opened her eyes, tears immediately began spilling from her eyes, rushing out as quickly as a conglomerate of high school students concentrated by the doors would after exams.

Nolan looked at her alarmed and he quickly drew her closer to him, wrapping his lanky arms around her sobbing body. Emily Thorne never cried, it was a rarity, so if she was crying now he knew it had to be bad... really really bad.

He didn't say anything though, he didn't know what to say, those generic seemingly comforting words like, _it's okay, I'm here now_, wouldn't work on Emily, he knew that, so he just held onto her and let her tears seep into his expensive shirt.

Her voice muffled by his shirt she began to whisper, a low tone to her voice, "I could have started over if I hadn't remembered; I wouldn't have to feel this pain, I wouldn't have known that I loved him, that I trusted him and that he broke that, that he broke me, that he cheated, that he... that he...''

"That he what?" Nolan asked anxiously.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5: I Have To Get Out Of Here  
**

"That he nearly killed me" Emily whispered, her voice so light that it was barely audible.

Nolan's eyes widened in horror and he pulled away from her so that he could look into her eyes, "Daniel Grayson, shot you?" he asked slowly, nervously...fearfully.

Not feeling able to look Nolan in the eyes, Emily slowly nodded her head, hiding the agony displayed on her face.

Nolan's heart instantaneously dropped, he couldn't imagine that, being shot by the person you loved , let alone on your wedding day. Such anger filled his mind, Emily had trusted Daniel to love her and in turn he had trusted Daniel to take care of her. But he did the opposite, to an extreme that no one should go, and nothing made him more enraged than that, he thought he had hated Daniel before but now he out right resented him.

"I am so sorry, Em's" Nolan whispered distraught, as he reached for her hand comfortingly and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Emily slowly wiped away the stray tears from her eyes and a pained little smile spread across her lips as she murmured, "I'll get through it".

"I don't doubt that Em's, you're the strongest person I know" Nolan whispered matching that pained smile she'd sent him.

"I don't feel like that right now"

"You keep saying that Daniel broke you but you're still here, you're still in one piece and you're still Emily Thorne, he can't take that away from you."

"I'm not in one piece though, he's already taken my heart and devoured it." She murmured morbidly.

"I'm sorry", he whispered softly, feeling such torment inside. He hated this, he hated seeing her in so much pain and not being able to make her feel better, "I'll make sure you get it back, even if I have to shove my hand down his throat all the way down to his stomach, and pull out your heart he cruelly took from you, , I'll make sure it comes back to you in one whole piece."

Emily finally looked up at him, fighting back more tears as she looked into his determined blue eyes, "Thank you Nolan" she whispered.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he just held her like that for a while, before hesitating and then tentatively asking, "What happened that night?"

"It's simple really" she replied bitterly, her voice low and cold, "That night I went outside on the deck to catch some fresh air, I just wanted some time alone to let my thoughts run amuck in my head but that didn't last long because Victoria came out looking for a confrontation about my pregnancy. She didn't believe my pregnancy was real and with that my love for Daniel and so we argued, I said some harsh things, she said things back. I don't know if Daniel overheard that argument, but after it, you came up to check on me and I was a bit shaken up by it because even though I hadn't admitted to it, she had threatened to find away to expose the fake pregnancy."

Nolan nodded his head remembering, "and that's when we talked about the fake pregnancy, and how horrible you felt about it."

"Exactly" Emily replied, "and Daniel definitely overheard that conversation. After you left to let me gather my thoughts alone, before re-entering the celebration, I heard Daniel's angry voice behind me. He was enraged and maddeningly intoxicated too, he was stumbling, his words came out slurred, his eyes were bloodshot and his whole face was red."

"His voice alone sent chills up my spine, but it wasn't until I turned around and saw that unrecognizable look in his eyes and that gun pointed at my chest that I froze in fear, realizing my imminent danger. After that everything happened so quickly, I uttered I'm sorry and he pulled the trigger and shot, and then again, watching as I fell into the ocean."

Nolan cursed angrily, "Where did he even get the gun from?"

"It was the Grayson's yacht, they had a couple onboard for 'safety' he must have taken it out of its draw, from where it sat, nearby to where everything happened."

"We're going to bury him in court" Nolan said determinedly, "He's not getting away with this."

Emily shook her head slowly as she murmured, "It's over Nolan, I just know that I have to get out of here, get out of the Hampton's."

"And what about Daniel, you're going to let him get away with this?" Nolan said, his voice raised in a mixture of anger and disbelief.

"When I first remembered what happened I vowed to make him pay, I vowed to make him hurt as much as he hurt me but I... I'm tired, I just want to get away from him, forget him, forget everything that happened and start fresh. I can't do that if I'm tethered to him, and I definitely won't be able to begin healing either"

"And what about your justice then? We can help you fight"

"It doesn't matter" she said dejectedly, "the Grayson's are terribly rich, they have an endless amount of connections and they don't mind getting their hands dirty. Even though he did shoot me, there's no way we would beat them in court or if by any chance we did it would take years."

Nolan sighed, she had a point... but still, "You still have to do something, slip it to the press, the news will blow up, Daniel will be under suspicion by the public, Voulez ratings will go down because of that and also because they won't be publishing the juicy news on Daniel that everybody wants to hear."

Getting more animated as he spoke about Daniel's demise, he carried on, "It's perfect, and if you don't want to take it to court, then just say that your memory hasn't returned. And then if you leave him a week later, everyone will really think it was him, which won't bode well for him, and you'll be able to start over somewhere, nice and new and away from him, it's perfect."

"Nolan, I told you, I'm done" she said sharply

"I can't understand that, not after what he did to you, I can't believe you would just run away" he replied, his voice raised in frustration as he raked his fingers roughly through his blond hair.

Emily glared at him, shaking away from his touch, "It's because you've never been in love" she shouted angrily, "You're all fine with one night stands and everything, but you don't know love, or what it feels like or how it burns when you lose it. You couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through!"

There was a long pause as her angry words lingered in the air and his mind, and she looked away not wanting to see the hurt expression on his face, as she realized the harshness of what she'd said to him.

"Do you know why I've never looked for love, Emily?" Nolan asked, his voice no longer raised but low and serious, "because you were always my first priority, I've always been too busy looking out for you, making sure you were headed in the right direction, making sure you were happy, making sure you had a safety net to fall back on when need be. Making sure you were alright."

Emily's expression softened ever so slightly, but she still refused to accept that, "I never asked you to do that and you long since repaid whatever you felt you owed my parents for their kindness."

Nolan shook his head, and then reached towards her face, lifting up her chin, so that she was forced to look into his eyes, "I do it because I care, not out of debt, I loved your parents, and I love their daughter, you're my family Em's, you're like a sister to me, a sometimes annoyingly stubborn one , but a sister nonetheless...that's why I can't stand for it when the man who was suppose to love you as much as I do, betrayed you so harshly."

"I know" she whispered softly, feeling touched, "I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologize, dummy" Nolan said tenderly, as he reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you for always being there for me" Emily murmured, "...but even still, I have to get away".

Nolan nodded his head resignedly; he hadn't expected her to change her mind, "As long as you believe that's best for you."

Emily nodded her head, "I do"

"Alright then" he murmured slowly, maybe this really was the best thing for Emily, as much as he hated Daniel he didn't want her to get so caught up in revenge that she began to lose herself.

"How are you going to get out of here with the guards that Victoria's ordered not only to keep people like me in but to keep you from coming out?" he asked.

"I'm just going to let Daniel... and Victoria know that I remember everything, that I won't retaliate and that I'm leaving." She replied simply.

"I don't trust the Grayson's" Nolan said with disdain, "and so I'll be waiting right outside of Grayson manor, if you're not out by 12 am, then I'm going to assume that they're keeping you in against your will and I'll call the police and tell them everything."

Emily slowly nodded her head in consent, "I'll let them know that too"

Nolan looked at her worriedly as he said, "Are you sure you'll be okay, confronting Daniel?"

"I'm not really looking for a big confrontation; I'm just looking to leave."

"Let him know, you hate him at least" Nolan uttered.

"Of course" Emily replied with an almost wicked glint in her eyes.

Standing up to leave, Nolan looked at Emily and said, "I'm afraid I have to go, Charlotte just texting me, saying her and Victoria are leaving the city and on their way home."

Emily nodded her head, watching as Nolan reached inside his pocket, and threw something onto her lap, "In case plans change" he said, as he watched her pick up the cell phone he'd gotten for her.

Nodding her head once again, as she hid the phone underneath her mattress, she looked up at Nolan with the tiniest of smiles on her face as she murmured "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, Nolan"

Nolan smiled back warmly, feeling accomplished for getting a smile out of her, "Yep, I'll see you tomorrow Em's and then we'll go down to the stowaway to meet with Amanda and Jack, we haven't done that for a while, so it'll be nice, us to blonds kicking it up with the Porter's".

Feeling a lump begin to form in her throat, Emily pushed it down and nodded her head, not wanting to get so emotional over the simple idea of that, no matter how lovely it sounded.

Just before Nolan got to the door, he turned around looked at Emily and then hesitated before honestly saying, "You're wrong Emily, it's not all about one night stands for me anymore, I'm in a relationship, a good one."

Emily's eyes widened in surprise but then she smiled for Nolan as she said, "I'm happy for you" and despite her current heartache, she truly meant it.

"Thank you" Nolan said earnestly, as he walked out the door one lanky limb at a time.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments are always welcome ;)**

**There were lots of Nemily feels in this chap, I just love those too they have such a lovely relationship (but don't worry, they won't be shipped romantically in this fic)**

**Next Chapter, there will be an Emily and Daniel confrontation of sorts, so that should be interesting.**

**Have a Happy Thanksgiving**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

******Chapter 6: Too Wrong To Bring To Light  
**

"What is this, no one summoned the press" Victoria said, in her haughty voice raised in annoyance as she looked at the reporters and video cameramen suddenly inside her house.

"Actually I did" Emily replied looking down on all of them from the balcony, where she stood. Her eyes zeroing in on Daniel, she smirked at him, enjoying the uneasiness she could sense emitting off of him.

"Thank you all for coming", she started, "due to my weakened condition, my announcement will be a brief one. In the past few days that my in-laws brought me home, I have endured more pain than I thought humanly possible, and I believe because of this journey my memory..."

She paused, hesitating as she looked looking down at Daniel and Victoria Grayson. She could end it all right now, tell the truth, get away...start over, just like Nolan wanted or she could drag it on, stay tethered to the Grayson's and fight the battle she had originally vowed...before she had grown weak, before she had lost her resolve.

What did she want? What did she really want? Emily shook her head, she couldn't start over, not now, not after what Victoria had scornfully told her last night, not after what Daniel had caused her to lose, how could she start over, fall in love, have a family if...?

"Sorry" she said slowly, her voice wobbling and her eyes, beginning to water, as she looked down at the press, admiring how easy it was to fool them "This is just so hard".

Skimming over the reporters eager faces, she saw Victoria lean into Daniel, whispering something into his ear. They seemed to be disagreeing but then she saw Daniel slowly begin to walk up those stairs towards her.

"I've been recuperating" she said slowly, "healing and with each and every day, I've been hoping to remember what happened to me that night, I've been hoping for those memories to return...There's been much speculation over who shot me and I'd like to set the record straight" she added her voice sounding stronger, more powerful.

The room was silent; it was as if they were all holding their breath, waiting for the bomb to drop. She couldn't help enjoying the power she felt, Victoria looked alarmed, her whole face had gone white and she was holding onto the banister as if to stable herself, and Daniel, he'd reached the top of the staircase by now, and when she had turned to look at him, the panic, the guilt, and the fear on his face was truly beautiful.

Looking back towards the audience down below after her dramatic pause, she shook her head ever so slightly and slowly said, her voice sounding anguished, "But I can't, my memory hasn't yet returned."

Daniel looked towards her, letting out a breath of relief as he slowly walked up to her, wrapping his arm around her waist, like the supporting husband the Hampton's thought he was, Victoria smiled secretly, from down below, no longer needing the support of the banister and the press no longer silent roared with life once again whilst emitting such disappointment over the exciting news they never got.

She flinched ever so slightly at his touch, it had been a while since she'd felt it, and now that she did, a million angry thoughts flooded in her head. He had no right, not after what he'd done to her and definitely not after his general lack of care for her. She had been shot twice by him, she would have thought he'd at least care enough to make sure she was healing properly or that through his guilt he'd stay by her side... but he hadn't. It's not that she wanted his care...no she hated him...but it just hurt so much more knowing that even after his sinful blunder, he still didn't care enough to even try making it up to her. Maybe he really had wanted her dead when he pulled out that gun; either way he has been acting like she simply ceased to exist.

"My wife and I" Daniel said, looking towards the press and trying look as innocent as possible, "held this announcement today wanting to thank the people who've had Emily's recovery in their mind, as well as the Hampton's police force, who have been doing everything in their power to piece together the mystery and give justice to my wife."

Looking down at his mother, he saw her nod her head, urging him to continue, and it sickened him. He was the shooter, the perpetrator, the "_baddie_" but here he was standing up in the balcony telling lies to the press, with his arm gingerly around Emily as if he had a right to touch her, as if he was her actual support, when all he was, was the epitome of her pain.

But knowing this he still continued, he was a Grayson, the son of his cold-blooded, ruthless and immoral parents. Lie and deny that was their family mantra wasn't it? So that's what he had to do in order to save himself from public scrutiny, from punishment, from prison. What was he kidding all he was doing was straying farther and farther away from the path of redemption. But he was a Grayson that wasn't his fault, his parent's had always shielded him from punishment, "_we'll take care of it"_ they'd say and one way or another they always did. So he had never had to worry, he had never had to face the consequences of his actions. It wasn't his fault that now he no longer knew how...was it?

Shaking his head to clear those thoughts from his mind, he held Emily a little closer, as if protectively, cleared his throat and then said in a hard, cold sounding voice, "As for the perpetrator, who harmed Emily Grayson and killed our unborn baby, only the worst is coming for you and you can rest assured, that you will be caught and rightfully punished!"

The press roared with excitement, loving the display of the powerful, protective husband that Daniel projected well, "That will be all" he said firmly as he walked himself and Emily off the made up stage, and away from the press.

* * *

Walking her back to her bedroom, his hand gingerly on her back, he helped her sit down on the chair beside her bed, unsure of whether she even needed the help, or how much pain she was still in. "Does it..." he almost started to ask but then he stopped, did it matter? Would it make him feel less guilty if she said most of the pain had subsided?

She was so quiet, she wasn't saying a word, she was barely looking at him, was she upset that he hadn't been to see her, that he'd abandoned her and left her to recuperate alone? Or was she angry?

He looked at her and then looked towards the door, he could still here the press buzzing outside the door in the living room, was that his mother's voice, why wasn't she clearing them out? He was stuck with Emily until the press and the cameras were gone. The cameras had seen them walk into one of the bedrooms, if he walked out alone only seconds after, god knows the press would spin that into some juicy story, like how the shooting and loss of the baby had drifted them apart causing their relationship to be on rocky terms.

He didn't need that, so he sighed and sat down awkwardly on the corner of her bed.

"I'm sorry you're trapped here with me" Emily said slowly, her voice no longer containing the warmth and airiness, it once had.

Daniel shook his head, "I..."

But she cut him off, and simply said, "It's obvious you want to leave but the press is keeping you in here with me."

"Why are you apologizing?" he said slowly, distressingly, his face crumpling up in frustration.

She simply looked at him, her brown eyes concealing all the feelings that should be showing.

"God damn it Emily" he shouted in frustration, "Why aren't you angry, why you aren't yelling at me, why aren't you screaming that I'm a terrible incompetent husband, why aren't you saying you hate me?"

She didn't even flinch at the harsh sound of his loud voice, she simply opened her mouth and said, "The press is still outside, you should keep it down, you wouldn't want them to overhear."

She could see the tired look of guilt and anger mixed on his face as he shifted his gaze away from her. You want an answer, she thought bitterly to herself... Well it's because that would be too easy, because I want to drag this on for you, I want you to struggle between your guilt and what little goodness you have left inside of you, because I want you to hurt like I do, that's my answer!

"Why are you still here, haven't I done enough to hurt you?" he asked quietly, his voice just above a whisper this time, as he forced himself to look back at her with such guilty eyes.

"You're my husband; we're committed to each other now" she replied honestly, meaning every word, they were committed, not through love but through a chain bound by the pain, anger and guilt circling the two of them.

He looked at her with such a distraught look on his face; this wasn't fair to her at all. Shooting her and then binding her too him, so that he could what, diffuse the potential bomb she might throw at him, after painfully remembering that her own husband was the one who shot her on the night of their wedding. He'd put her through enough pain, she shouldn't have to stay inside this big, cold house alone, waiting for the husband she thought he was to show her some affection or support. She should be trying to move on, to forget she'd ever loved a sinner like him and so he'd have to push her away, give her a stronger reason to want to leave than his deliberate neglect of her. And if after she leaves him, she remembers, he should take whatever punishment she deems fit, after all God knows he deserves it.

"Emily" he says slowly, softly, as if the tone of his voice will somehow soften the blow of what he's about to say when he knows full well that it won't, "You should leave me, I can't be a good husband to you, not after..."

"I'm still in love with Sarah" he finishes, his voice sounding steady, resolute. Those words give him no satisfaction, but he says it anyway, a serious look in his eyes as he forces himself to look at Emily's face, surely that will be enough to push her into leaving, to make her hate him.

He watches as her dark brown eyes widen in surprise, but then he casts his eyes away from her, he doesn't want to see the rest of her reaction, her hurt.

He waits, waits for her to say something, anything but then he hears a sound coming from her lips, is that a whimper? Is Emily Thorne going to break down in front of him? The thought scares him, she never cries, or if she does never in front of him, there was only one time she did. The memory flows back to him only adding more guilt to the crushing feeling he feels inside of him.

It was weeks before their wedding, and he'd gotten into a fight with Emily at his launching party for Voulez. She had arrived late and on top of other things, it had caused him to question her commitment to him and being so upset he had called off the wedding date they'd had planned. That night, he'd gone back to her house to grab a couple of clothes to take to the hotel he was going to stay at. That's when she had stepped into the room with a picture of her past in her hands. She had sat him down and opened up a part of herself to him that he had never really seen before. She had showed him her vulnerable side, trusting him to know the pain of her past and she had cried, he could tell at first that she was trying to hold in the tears, but then it become too much and she let them flow freely, as she talked about the family she lost as a little girl and the pain she felt because of it. She had looked so broken, and he remembered feeling such an intense emotion of wanting to take away all the pain, all that pain she'd hidden from him for far too long.

He still remembers some of what she said now, the words a haunting reminder, to all he's probably worsened.

"_It's hard for me to share memories of my past Daniel, and it's even harder for me to trust. You know people think that because I lost my family young, I never knew what real love was, but I did and it was ripped away from, and I still feel that pain like it was yesterday, so I push people away" she had paused looking at him with such a look of earnest through her eyes brimmed with tears as she sincerely added, " I want nothing more than to stand beside you on our wedding day"._

And so he had pulled her in his arms, hugging her tenderly and wiping away the tears from her eyes whilst reassuring her of his love for her and the support he'd show her. He had forgiven her and that night instead of going to the hotel room as planned; he had slept beside her, kissing her tenderly on the lips as goodnight and pulling her closer to him, his arms around his waist, her head against his chest. He had whispered, _"I love you"_ as he entangled his fingers through her soft blond curls loving the feel of it between his fingers. He had laid there awake for hours long after she'd fallen asleep, content with feeling her smooth skin against his body, hearing her soft breaths of inhalation as her chest rose and fell against his own and smelling that wonderful scent that always seemed to linger on her skin. And as the luminescent moon had shone through her window, he had vowed to never stop loving her and to gradually take away the pain she still felt, replacing it with his love for her.

Knowing what he had regrettably done to her, he now knew that not only had he failed her miserably since that night, but also added to the pain he had vowed to take away. There was only one thing that hadn't changed but it was too ruined and twisted and wrong to bring to light anymore.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I literally came home tired from so much work and school and neglected like everything I probably needed to get done, convincing myself that I needed a break and therefore should work on this fic. Not regretting anything, I really enjoyed writing this chapter, hopefully as much as you all enjoy reading it. Comments are appreciated =D**

**And Btw if you're wondering about what happened to what Emily and Nolan talked about in the previous chapter (in regards to her leaving), then that will be explained in the next couple of chapters.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Before The Calm**

I'm still in love with Sarah" he finishes, his voice sounding steady, resolute, as he stands up hoping to be able to escape from her as quickly as possible once her initial reaction is over. Those words give him no satisfaction, but he says it anyway, a serious look in his eyes as he forces himself to look at Emily's face. Surely that will be enough to push her into leaving, to make her hate him.

He watches as her dark brown eyes widen in surprise, but then he casts his eyes away from her, he doesn't want to see the rest of her reaction, her hurt.

He waits, waits for her to say something, anything... and then he hears a sound coming from her lips, is that a whimper? Is Emily Thorne going to break down in front of him? The thought scares him, she never cries, or if she does never in front of him, there was only one time she did. The memory flows back to him only adding more guilt to the crushing feeling he feels inside of him.

There it was again, that sound; stronger, louder, and harsher. Looking up at her in surprise, his brows furrow in confusion when he realizes that it is not a whimper, she is not crying, she is laughing, if he can even call it that. It doesn't sound like Emily's laugh; light, happy, and contagious, that's how he remembers it. When she used to laugh her whole face would light up, her eyes would twinkle, and as he stared at her, his mouth curling up into a smile, which evidently turned into laughter too, afterwards he'd always want to lean into her and kiss her passionately on those lips of hers... often he did.

No, this was not her laugh... it couldn't be, it sounded so cold and hollow, devoid of everything that made her laugh so endearing.

Looking back up at her, his eyes filled with a dooming forlornness, he wanted to whisper sorry, and the moment her eyes had connected with his and subsequently her empty sounding laughter had ended, that urge had only intensified... but he didn't. What would sorry do?

Trying to discern the emotions she had to be feeling through her eyes, Daniel stared into them as if captivated by them, in a way he was. Captivated by the way she managed to conceal it all from him, she was quite skilled at that, she'd always been so hard to read, even without trying to be... or maybe she had tried, maybe that was why they had been drifting apart before the wedding... because he could never figure out how she truly felt.

* * *

Daniel was lying and she knew it, Sarah, he couldn't love her, Emily refused to believe that, especially that he loved that brunette more than he loved herself. Whatever, they were now or whatever he felt now, Daniel Grayson had loved her before and deeply, that was a fact...it had to be, she had wholeheartedly felt it from him and she had wholeheartedly loved him back. Anyway you couldn't just go through the relationship they had by faking it, it would just crumble...though thinking about it even with love it had crumbled in the end.

Crumbled, disintegrated and left to the ruin, that was their relationship, though the funny thing was, those feelings from the relationship hadn't just vanished along with it...not completely. She wished they had, it would make it all the easier, especially after the way it all blew up, but no matter how much she willed oblivion to snatch them up and erase them, they still lingered; as fragments, as memories and as holes in her fickle heart.

This had to apply to him too, all those fragments and memories lingering in his mind and his heart. In which case, especially after what he had done to her, he couldn't possibly love Sarah, he wouldn't have the room, not with the array of complicated emotions he must be holding for herself.

It was funny, Daniel was just using Sarah as an escape, from herself. With a satire sense of humour, it was really quite funny, in a melancholy way of course.

* * *

"Em's say something" he pleads, the laughter not being the reaction he expects or needs. He needs her to be angry or upset. God at this point he not only needs it, he wants it and desperately.

Because of the twisted, turbulent situation he'd plundered into with her, he needs Emily's anger to relieve him. He knows how screwed up that sounds, and he hates it, he despises it, it shows just how intricately, Emily and himself had managed to completely, for lack of a better word, fuck up their relationship.

It's on the back of his mind always, but he can't think about it right now, he can't dwell on it, he can only think about her anger, her rage and how it will be his saving grace, his impetus for escape from the maze they foolishly locked themselves into.

After the storm comes the calm, isn't that what they say? If the storm's her anger, then maybe the calm is a fresh start, for the both of them.

Maybe after the storm, that parasite inside of him might recede, he doesn't expect it to simply disappear, no that would be too easy, too benevolent on his soul. But he just wants it to recede a little bit, so that he can learn to cope with his guilt and regret for shooting his love. It would probably be easier too since Emily in her amnesiac innocence wouldn't be around him to inadvertently feed more of his flesh to the parasite inside of him.

Where would Emily be after the storm he wonders, would she remember? Could she move on? He had hurt her monstrously, that was an unequivocal fact, a nasty truth. Could she ever trust again? Trust enough to find love, to find someone good, ten times better than the man he became, fifty actually. Would that guy love her unconditionally, break down her walls to take away all her pain, make her smile, make her laugh like how she used to? Would he tell her he loved her, hold her close to him in his arms and kiss her tenderly on the lips?

Daniel's only torturing himself thinking about all this but he continues anyway, his self-condemnation driving his own abuse. Would that new love bear her children, children she had always wanted, children she had talked about one night with himself?

He still remembers that night, it had been late midnight and he had lovingly coerced her into staying the night with him, she had obliged, and that night as they lay snuggled against each other underneath the thick warm duvet, they had whispered, talking about things they never really had before; one being children, and he remembered that as he listened to her talk about children and her desire for them...for a family, all in correlation to their future, he had never felt closer to her.

He had ruined that completely though at least for them, but maybe just maybe he didn't ruin that whole dream for her. Though his heart ached thinking about it, maybe after the storm, she could find a new man, a good man, and lay down some roots of her own, maybe she could be happy, god knows it would be a while before he could. A start to healing, that's what he needs to be happy again, and the pain surrounding the both of them to slowly begin to subside. This he knows will take a while, a long while, especially with the deep but self-destructive love they tragically held, but it would be a start, one he doesn't have right now.

But before all that he has to brace the storm, he has to take her pain-induced anger, so that the calm can slowly settle into their lives, and so he watches, feeling chills as her dark eyes penetrate his own, her face having tightened in anger, "Sarah" she spits out as if the name alone is venom, "You've never loved her as much as you do me, not then and not now". She says it slowly, her voice low and callous, trying to cover the pain her voice might betray.

Neither denying nor affirming her claim, he deliberately casts his eyes away, feeling off balanced. The feeling she's emulating off of herself disturbs him, he can't put his finger on it, but he feels as if the anger she is displaying doesn't add up to Sarah, he's almost certain of, there's something more...

"Pure cowardice at its finest, that's all this is, all you are " she adds, her voice dripping with animosity.

He flinches at that word despite himself; he's always hated it and the countless times he's thought it applied to him. She knows that, she's hitting it right where it hurts most.

And so she continues, standing up in her anger as she carries on, her voice like a sharp knife jabbing into his skin at every angry statement, exposed through her low, cold tone."You're a coward who can't lie in the pit you made for yourself, a coward who hides behind his filthy parents, a coward who can't look me in the eyes and tell me the truth..." Her voice inadvertently raises at that last phrase in her anger and disgust, while his face grows inadvertently taut, the colour beginning to drain from his cheeks, especially when he looks into her eyes and sees the pain, they finally reveal.

Did she know? Had she remembered he had shot her... but when? She had just announced to the press that her memory hadn't come back, could she have remembered between that short time of then to now or had she been holding it in all along?... but for how long? And why?

A million questions flooded his mind and with it his panic and guilt, she wasn't suppose to know, he wasn't ready for the confrontation, what could he say to her, what could anyone say to make it right?

He couldn't help believe his naiveté..., he thought she'd never remember, he thought he could get her to leave before it ever came out, he thought he wouldn't have to face the consequence of his actions but here it was staring him right in the face with such a look of animosity. How naive indeed, she knew and knowing Emily Thorne, she'd probably known all along.

Lowering back the tone of her voice, trying not to let her emotions, overwhelm her, Emily reeled in some of her blatant anger, trying not to let it leak out so early in the game, not yet, that would only reveal her pain and in turn her vulnerability. She was stronger than that, she had to be in order to get her revenge as vowed.

Originally she had wanted to drag Daniel along a little longer, it had been immensely satisfying watching his guilt swallow him up as she played innocent... but it didn't feel like enough anymore, not after he had mentioned Sarah. His lie, his denial, his trying to get rid of her, through the mention of his mistress, had struck a nerve with her a bad one, and now she wanted blood.

But she was much too calculatingly, too manipulating, to simply release her unquenched anger, no, she had more control than that, she'd been brewing over what he did to her for weeks, hiding it; holding in the rage, disgust and pain that filled her heart every time she looked at him or even thought of him. In return, channeling it into resentment, a much more constructive weapon; cutting, cold and cruel.

"You're disgusting" Emily continued, her onslaught clearly not over as she spitefully said, "hiding behind Sarah, thinking that you can start new, thinking that if you put your love into it, then you can forget about me, isn't that right Daniel? Isn't that why you went back to her because she's your escape, your door marked exit? It's not because you love her but because you loved me too much and now don't know how to deal with your guilt and your pain? You're just running away...cowardice at its finest"

A malicious and cutting analysis that even Daniel can't deny for its accuracy in all her scrutiny is correct.

"I-I" he faltered, not knowing what to say, what could he say? He was disgusting, "I'm sorry" he uttered, his voice low, like he already knew the weakness of his words despite his pure honesty.

"Sorry" she repeats bitterly, her voice cold and sharp and the expression on her face no warmer nor softer, "You of all people should know that sorry means nothing Daniel... I mean why would it? It clearly meant nothing to you the night you shot me."

Daniel's face completely whitens, as the words he's been fearing, are brought to life, while the satisfaction Emily feels from saying it aloud, is unrivaled to anything she's felt for weeks. '_The night you shot me, _he'd been hiding that fact, ignoring what he did to her, so it did feel nice to let out, nice indeed, in a sad, bitter, desolate kind of way.

Staring him down, her eyes locked onto his with such a raw sense of intensity, she almost felt like smiling, a sly little smile, one that would make the insides of his stomach twist up in fear and regret. But she didn't, she wasn't done yet, she still had more to say, more to get off her chest, "We were standing there on the deck together and I uttered sorry and I-I meant it with every bone in my body" Her voice raises at this part, her voice emphasizing the words, 'every bone in my body' and he wonders whether purposely or inadvertently. He guesses the latter, for some reason, she seems to be trying to cloak the passion behind her emotions, as if she was only a bystander to his cruelty and not the victim, as if she was only vaguely affected. He can sense the rage, the anger, the mistrust, the disdain... the pain but she doesn't want to let it show, not an uncontrollable sense of anger and definitely not her pain.

However, it's not completely working, she is only human after all, she can't cleanly separate her anger from her pain or her actions from her emotions, and so she struggles. Especially with what she says last, she realizes this herself, as her voice fluctuates with the emotions even she can't hide, and so she gives up, letting the pain and anger come out in all its rawness "but you still shot me Daniel, you shot me twice, watched as I fell into the ocean and then you left me to die alone, in the cold, vast ocean on the night of our wedding!"

There it was fully out in the open, like an exposed wound, painful, scary and bloody hard to stomach.

He felt a lump begin to form in his throat and he swallowed, not that it helped, his throat still felt constricted probably from the guilt, piling up inside of him. It felt dry too, scorched; he needed a drink, something with some spice, something to help drown his dread, his guilt, his cowardice as she put it, he wouldn't mind the sting, in fact he'd love it, that burning sensation, sliding down his throat, and settling into his stomach, it could be his payment, his little underground deal, for that dangerous liquid to haze his mind into a state where things were different, obscure.

But it was dangerous the stronger part of his mind, reminded him, it corroded his judgement, it contributed to him, hurting Emily Thorne...even though they were married he couldn't even say wife, from hurting his wife, it felt wrong after what he'd done, to bestow her of the loving title wife and himself husband. How could he when he'd lifted a gun towards her chest and shot?

Those words rung in his head again haunting him, "_but you still shot me Daniel, you shot me twice, watched as I fell into the ocean and then left me to die alone, in the cold, vast ocean on the night of our wedding."_

Needless to say, all hope of the calm, coming after the storm, dissipated, as those words flew out her mouth, confirming his fear. Even if this storm passed, the wreckage it would leave behind would dispel all chances of calm.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, there's the second half of this to come next chapter.**

**It's been a while, but I'm glad I finally managed to get this chapter out, comments are appreciated =D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge, I Just Love It  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8: You're Hurting Yourself**

Emily was waiting, he could tell by the calculating look in her eye, that she was waiting for him to say something, but what...he didn't know. Nothing could justify what he did and nothing he could possibly say would make her feel better, but even so he futilely tried, "I..." he began to murmur, but that was all he could come up with, he was stuck, at the first word, a simple one-letter word.

That was enough for her though, Daniel realized, as she began to attack him further. She didn't care for what he had to say, she just wanted to scrutinize it and attack him with his own wording.

"I was drunk... I was angry, I felt betrayed, is that what you were going to say?" Her voice trembled with anger.

She could feel her control slowly subsiding and her pain showing through in all her rage, but it felt good to relinquish her mind to her emotions, and so despite the danger it posed to her plan, she continued, "as if that justifies how you harmed me. Do you know what it feels like to have your lover, hold a gun to your chest, it's frightening, alarming, but it is nothing compared to the anguish and betrayal one feels upon the realization that they actually shot. You shot me Daniel, and then watched as those bullets tore through my flesh, soaked my wedding dress with warm vibrant red blood, and then propelled my weakened body over the railing. You left me there in the cold, dark ocean alone, no doubt waiting for the waves to swallow me up and engulf me in their fold. Out of sight, out of mind, is that what you were hoping for when you didn't call for help. How did you feel, when you found out I was alive? That instead of putting me out of my misery, the cold strong waves drifted me to help, help I didn't want when I was on the brink of death, with a diseased mind, a ravaged heart, and a hole in my chest. I guess neither of us got what we wanted that night, did we Daniel?"

Daniels face looked completely drawn of colour as if a ghost had graced his present, haunting him mercilessly, and his whole body was taught and stiff. He felt paralyzed, stuck, but willing his voice to speak from his heart, he adamantly replied, "I never wanted you dead". His voice sounded low and quiet in contrast to hers, but nowhere near weak.

Looking at the pain in her eyes, he felt sick, overwhelmingly so, he hadn't wanted to hear that, what it felt like, what he did. But now that he had, he felt as if his body was burdened by the weight of stones in his pockets, sinking him down to the floor and waiting for him to crash. A lot of stones indeed; guilt, disgust, and disgrace only being three of them.

"I never wanted you dead Emily" he repeated, "I loved you wholeheartedly, and I never did stop, I just got lost, entangled in our problems…I know nothing justifies what I did to you" he continued on with irrevocable honesty and pain in his own voice, "I know that, and you know that. We both hurt each other, but I destroyed us, what I did far surpassed anything you ever did to me, and I don't say that with pride I say that with great regret and guilt, it's on me!"

Looking towards her with such a look of anguish, he continued, his voice elevating in volume, "I fucked up Emily, so much so that I can't even ask you for your forgiveness and so I am not going to, it wouldn't be fair to you and I don't deserve it." He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts before he quietly began to say, an almost desperate tone to his voice, "Emily just tell me what you want from me. If you want to send me to prison, then call the police I'll hand you the phone right now. If you want me to pay through public shame then notify the press, I won't refute your claim. Or if you want to leave, escape this wretched house and get as far away from me as possible, then leave, I'll make sure my mother doesn't try get in your way. Just tell me what you want from me, Emily. I will stand as a man, and take whatever punishment you deem fit, destroy me if you want, I deserve it….. just enough with these games, it's all out in the open now."

Emily looked back at him defiantly, refusing to give in to his words, to let them resonate within her. What did it matter what he said, what he felt, what he told her? Was it suppose to make her feel better? Because it didn't, she didn't feel anything while hearing them, except more pain.

Staring back at him, her dark brown eyes, penetrating his own, she opened her mouth and steadily replied, her voice sounding cold and resolute, "I want to stay".

Daniels eyes widened in disbelief and he shook his head in confusion, "I don't understand he muttered, "You don't love me and even if you did, you know our love has been tarnished."

"No, I don't love you Daniel" she replied sharply, glaring at him, with such a look of disgust for even mentioning the word love, "Not at all" she added for good measure, her eyes boring into his, daring him to think otherwise.

He doesn't, he can't, but even so, hearing her confirm it out loud, those words slipping off her tongue so easily, as if they never really mattered at all, sends a sharp pain through his heart. "Then why stay? Why not punish me?" He asked angrily his voice raising in frustration.

Emily smirked, her lips curling up, "Can't you see this is my punishment to you, Daniel" she said maliciously, "You can't move on if I stay… or forget"

"So you want to toy with me, my emotions, my future, like some game" he replied slowly, trying to control the anger surging up inside of him. He had apologized, he had spoken from his heart and though he knew that didn't equate to Emily's anger simply disintegrating, he thought she'd at least take something out of it, maybe see his regret and realize how much pain he was also in from what he did to her, and see that he was sorry, really sorry, and that he was willing to handle the consequences of his actions. He had meant that, every word but what Emily wanted; staying, how the hell would that help her? And how could he become the man he should have been for her, if she stayed tethered to his side as a sore reminder of his mistake and an instigator to more of his pain?

"You'd only be punishing yourself too" he tried to rationalize for her, since clearly in her anger she couldn't for herself, "The love is gone, the happiness is gone, and all there is left between us is pain, anger and guilt. Why stay when you can start over, start fresh?"

Her eyes flickered up in anger, and the look she sent him spread chills down his spine, "Start over" she said sharply "start fresh...I couldn't possibly, not after what you did to me and caused me to lose."

"So you're going to let my mistake dictate your life? That doesn't sound like you, not at all, wake up Emily", he shouted in anger, this time letting some of it out, maybe then she'd see, "I'm the one who has to live with my mistake not you".

"I Hate You!" her voice trembled, as she screamed those words at him, tears brimming her eyes in the process, though they never spilt, she blinked them away in her rage, refusing to let them spill, "You think you're the only one who has to live with your mistake" she was shaking now, he could see her body trembling in her fervent fury, "I have the wound Daniel, I have the memory clearer than yours ever will be in the intoxicated state you were in, I have the maddening pain, and above all else because of you I know have no chance of giving birth to a child, you've rendered me infertile! You've taken away my future, so don't talk to me about fresh starts, don't you dare. What start can I have? Why even try fall in love again? Why bother when the one thing I had always wanted to get out of love, was a family, was children, was the chance of giving birth, of linking whatever I had left of my deceased parents, to my own children."

"I am so sorry" he murmured horrified, "I never knew I..." he mumbled something incoherent in his shock, in his horror, he'd done that to her too, he'd taken away her unborn children, rendered her infertile, taken away the one treasured thing she'd always wanted most. There it was again, that guilt, ten times stronger, and fifty times more intense. "I". He didn't know what to say, so he just watched and listened to see what she would say next.

"You did this to me" she uttered sharply, her voice elevated in blatant anger, as she began to slowly lift up the bottom of her shirt, just above her bully button, to expose her bandaged wound.

Placing her fingers on the edge of the bandage around her wound, Emily looked at Daniel with such ferocity in her eyes, grit her teeth and then tore off the bandage in one quick motion.

Drawing in a jagged breath, as she dropped the blood stained bandage on the floor, her eyes fixed on his as if daring him to turn away, daring his cowardice to show at this precise moments. "I thought you'd want to see your handiwork" she said piercingly.

Daniel winced, but he didn't look away, feeling paralyzed by the dark look in her eyes. So he forced his gaze downwards to the bare wound she exposed, the one he created. Distaste and disgust forming in his mouth, as he saw where the bullets penetrated her skin and where the doctors stitched against her paled skin, trying to force it together so that it could heal again.

He'd seen enough, there was only so much he could stomach and so he cast his eyes away, daring to look back up at her face with all her anger displayed so articulately on it.

"This is no handiwork" he said solemnly, regretfully, "this is the result of my cruel action against you, and I am sorry, so very sorry" he added with a desperation to his voice, like he was begging her to see it; to notice just how sorry he really was, and just how sick he felt.

Slowly walking towards her, stopping just closer than a metre away from her, he bent down and picked up the bandage, she'd purposefully dropped on the floor. "You should cover that wound, this bandage was there for a reason." He said worriedly, holding up the bandage as emphasis, "Where's your nurse?"

"You have no right to act worried" she replied bitterly, the glare never leaving her face but her fervent anger having boiled down.

He cursed under his breath, "You're bleeding Emily" he said clearly frustrated, "you must have accidently pulled out some stitches when you pulled off the bandage so roughly from your wound".

Her eyes flickered down from his face to her wound, where she watched in surprise as blood began to slowly trickle down her stomach. First it pooled by the tear in her skin, where the stitches seemed to have broken, then it spilled out, looking even more vibrant against her weak paled skin as it glided slowly and effortlessly down.

Maybe she should have felt worried, even the least bit worried, maybe she should have told him that her nurse had the day off, or maybe she should have tried seeking help on her own, but it just didn't feel that pressing. She was bleeding, but it wasn't gushing, and it really didn't hurt that much, maybe she was used to the pain by now or maybe because of all the worked up anger she'd been exercising, physical pain took a back seat. Either way, as she looked down at the blood, she realized she really didn't care right now; she wasn't going to die from a little bit of blood loss, and if she was then what kind of cruel sense of irony was that? Making her survive from two gun shots and the vast ocean she plundered into, only to die weeks after from something like this.

She was more occupied on Daniel, and how standing here like this, her wound exposed and bleeding, must leave him with a terrible, sick feeling in his stomach. He deserved it, a little piece of payback, she thought coldly, as he futilely tried to dial her nurses number from his cell phone.

Sliding his phone back in his pocket, he picked up a folded white towel, from the neatly stacked pile, in her cupboard and walked towards her clearly quite agitated by this point. She was being unreasonably bullheaded and she knew it, even at the expense of her own medical recuperation, she just stood there totally unwilling to even give a thought to her bleeding wound.

It pissed him off, to her was exploiting his guilt, pain and anger valued above her own well-being? The thought angered him and terrified him, both for his sanity and her own, how the hell was he suppose to get through to her if that was the case?

Cursing in anger, as he got close to her, he firmly wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, so that with his other hand he could cover her wound with the towel applying pressure, that the bandage no longer could.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he said firmly, "You need to get patched up".

She scowled at him, struggling to get out of his grip, but he was stronger than her, much stronger due to her weakened state and so eventually she gave up.

"You're hurting me" she hissed instead, expecting him to loosen his grip on her but instead he tightened it even more, causing her to draw in a jagged breath, as he whispered, "You're hurting yourself".

* * *

**Well this was the part two I promised, I hope you enjoyed it.**


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